Life Observations...

I have been having a lot of good ideas recently. I'm thinking it's dad - I'm channeling Larry.

It's all very exciting but equally sad. Part of me wants to fail - 'cause being a success without him around to be proud seems pointless. It's so strange! I really feel that! Wow.

Why do the opinions of others effect me so damn much. It is truly embarrassing. I'm disgusted.

So here's how I've been feeling the past few days...

Drivin' down the road...long, long, road...long, long journey...

I LOVE to drive. Love it.

But I'm not driving.

I never get to drive.

I sit on the passenger side, finding CD's, and lighting cigarettes for the driver. I read the maps, and take the lids off soda bottles.

I search for ziplock bags of cheerios and organize games of license plate BINGO to appease the restless people in the back seat.

I don't even get a minute to look out the window.

If I had to pee - I would wait patiently, to the point of pain, for someone else to have to pee too and request a pit stop.

And I have.

Many, many times.

Poor me right?

WRONG!

It is up to me to take that time for myself. To tell everyone I need a moment of silence.

Get it yourself.

...or at least pretend to be sleeping...

Too much time, I spend trying to keep everyone comfortable, putting other's people's comfort before my own, feeling like a failure until someone else is proud, terrified to upset someone, living in fear of dissapointing someone, dreading situations and conversations in which someone could get angry with me. Everyone! Please like me! Tell me I am great!

How utterly depressing. The whole point of this blog was to get rid of that person. New Year's resolution was to leave that person at an Oklahoma truckstop. It's already March...I better ditch this looser before the first of spring.

Stop this car! I want out! I would so rather walk!

Or let me drive for a while. I am a really good driver!

UGH!

Thank God It's...Thursday...sigh.